Note: This is a rather long blog post full with words because I am going to spill everything on my mind so I am going on and on and on and on… 🙂
In the past couple of weeks, I have been engaging in several discussions which stimulated myself to foresee where I want to/will be in the future. These discussions had actually gave me a rude awakening from a deep sleep I’ve been in regarding my future.
To be very honest, my dreams were shattered one after another one within the past 3 years. From being a writer to a footballer (yes, I finally realised how suck I was in playing football, without having the ability to master basic ball skills perfectly) to taking up a degree with the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE), all my dreams just shattered like an iPhone being thrown down from 10 storey high (actually I guess it would have the same impact if I were to throw it down from just a mere 3 storey high).
Being in Junior College (JC) gave me a perspective of how life’s going to be at LSE. With me failing my H2 Economics whole year round, I knew it would technically be impossible to further my studies with LSE. Initially, I was inspired by many notable alumnus of the school, especially Clement Attlee, John F. Kennedy, Ed Miliband and Lee Kuan Yew. I knew if I want to contribute back to the society, be it economically or through politics, that’s where I want to end up in. LSE are famous for producing alumnus who eventually did great in the political field. Many UK PMs and ministers were once walking around that very campus holding onto a stack of thick economics books and reading materials. Too bad, reality hits hard and I have no choice but to succumb to my disability in mastering economics. If I can’t even get mircoeconomics right, there’s no way for me to handle macroeconomics. I would even find it challenging understanding all the supply/demand graphs.
I continued to explore other options, with 2 viable options jumped right into my thoughts: acting and directing. Acting has been a part and parcel of my life since the day I signed up for the Drama Club in Secondary 1. Being an actor allows myself to view the world from various perspective. Acting is an art, a very beautifully crafted art with a certain level of psychologically mind-blowing insights that you’ll get to experience throughout the process. I need to secretly admit that acting too much makes me lose the sight of my true self. I’ve been immersing in various characters, from the good to the bad. From a kind hearted one to those nefarious creature who will try to stab your back every now and then without you realising. From a studious looking kid to a malevolent hooligan. I wandered too much and the journey caused me to feel rather disorientated. Who am I?
Exactly just that ^
But nevertheless, I found enjoyment in acting and well, being in someone else’s shoes (That’s probable one reason which I think I could understand everyone’s plight and hence be more reasonable at times…). However, how legit it is to consider your hobby or something you’ve been doing just for the sake of fun and laughter, peace and joy into a career aspiration? 5 years in Drama Clubs really stimulated the feel to make it a career.
And there, Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (NAFA). Before preparing to submit my withdrawal letter from JC, I’ve considered two paths: NAFA’s Diploma in Theatre (Mandarin Drama) and Ngee Ann Polytechnic’s (NP) Diploma in Chinese Media & Communication (CMC). The selections were simple and quite obvious too. My interest in both Chinese and arts.
Let’s talk about why I wanted to head for NAFA. Well, I wanted to perform in Chinese after spending half a decade trying hard to not mispronounce my English syllables during every rehearsals and plays. Speaking in English has been one of my greatest challenge, because there’s no way I could out speak people since I don’t possess an extensive range of vocabulary. On the other hand, I am rather confident in my ability in speaking in Mandarin. So I was thinking, why not, Chinese Theatre? To be honest, I still embrace the dream of being nominated for Golden Horse Awards in the future (Ya, I know I dream a bit too far, but hey, at least let me have my personal moment of delusion. ><)
|Me during Thespian 2013 with SR Drama|
Yet, I was also daunted by the reality. What if I don’t excel in Chinese Theatre? What if my performances are not as excellent as compared to the rest of my potential peers? I don’t want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere. Being thrown right in the middle of the society with no exceptional talent.
You see, the world is a very realistic place. You can only survive on either one of the following two sine qua non: either you are not much talented but have an acclaimed qualification OR you do not have a very nice qualification but you are very outstanding talent that is bound to be an asset to some organisations. I don’t want to suck in a situation whereby I am neither here nor there.
Here comes my decision to enter CMC.
Or you can call it, the mass communications in Chinese.
Mass Communications, as the word says, it is ‘mass’. It’s going to provide me training and knowledge to almost every aspect in the media industry. I am more interested to enter the film industry because like what I’ve said earlier on, filming is my interest. Singapore is a place, to be very honest, where many people thinks that entering the showbiz is a waste of time and something that seems unorthodox. Many people believes that having a ‘proper’ job, like being an accountant, banker, doctor or lawyer will be able to provide on a very stable rice bowl. This results in many talented people drifting away from the local showbiz which for a long term, not very positive for the industry itself. We are losing talents, real talents.
Through CMC, I get to know the various aspects of the media so that in the future, I can get to form a new media group (of course not as big as MediaCorp) or even just a talent agency to foster and bring in more talents into the industry, either as part-timers or full-timers.
Scouting for talents might seem easy given the environment I am in, but to persuade one to jump into the same boat as me is never easy. Especially when there is no incentive to offer them at this point of time. But I know, if the right people are being recruited, EC Entertainment (look, I’ve already give this ‘company’ a name and a Facebook page, oh and of course, a Youtube account) will be a reality soon.
|EC Entertainment logo|
Apart from media, my interest in politics, which almost everyone knows, especially after the 2015 General Election and my declaration of entering politics after the election since I am going to be 19 soon and by the next elections 5 years later, I will be of the legal age to vote. Speaking about politics (though you won’t see me speaking about it in this blog that often), my interest in politics started since young because my father will tell me tales about how his involvement in the grassroots in the 1980s and how he helped the then-Chong Boon MP Mr. S. Chandra Das in grassroots activity. He told me that politicians nowadays are unlike the old guards of the past. This is something I really agree on because I found that the current MP of my ward and the grassroots itself is getting out of touch with the residents. They seem so stranger to me and to the local community. They weren’t as active as the grassroots of the 1980s.
I knew, something has to change. MPs must reconnect the strings with the residents again.
The GE 2011 sparkled my full interest in politics and I started to attend rallies and listen to what candidates have to say. I could remember discussing politics with my closer friends even though we were just in Secondary 3 that time. Well, it’s better than being apolitical I guess. Having political consciousness will strive you on to do your best for the country.
I kept a relatively low profile in politics discussions with friends during the period between GE2011 and GE2015. I tend to only discuss politics with friends that either are close to me or share the same school of thought with me. You know, I don’t want to offend anyone.
During a course module called Media Research & Marketing, which got me thinking: where do I want to go after army. I discusses with my lecturer, Mr Gui, on university courses. It came to my consciousness that I might be looking to further my studies in NUS Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences (FASS) Political Science (Polsci), before having my undergraduate studies at Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy (LKYSPP).
My declaration of entering politics after GE2015, makes it seems to be the case and the kind of future I am heading to. I am more motivated after reading Let The People Have Him – Chaim See Tong: The Early Years by Loke Hoe Yeong. It is a biography of opposition veteran Chiam See Tong. His early years and thinking seems to be very close to mine. His journey to entering the Parliament in 1984 motivated me that though the road might be tough but it will all be worth it in the end.
Despite my interest in politics, however at the same time, I also would not like to abandon my plans in the showbiz.
It looks like I can only continue to work hard and see, as life goes on, where will the future brings me to.
PS: I know it has been a very long time since I’ve posted on this blog, because I was really really busy over the past month. But this post will mark my return to blogging. So check it out often! 🙂